You must earn your initiations and spiritual items and rewards. You cannot or should not attempt to get things in this way, and could make it go wrong. It is a personal commitment, exchange, and sacrifice. Or as I have seen one person make a crowd funding page for the public for their initiation. Personally as they were offering nothing in return I think this is disgraceful.
Even husbands and wives cannot initiate each other or make certain objects for each other, because of the energy transfer.
Family and loyalty is very honored and not to be taken lightly or your spiritual relationships when you join a spiritual house either. People have been kicked out of houses for betraying trust in the group, such as hitting on another man's wife. If your partner belongs to another spiritual house you must honor the pacts in your house, such as not to betray the secrets. Your word is your reputation, and the spirits will not listen to someone who easily breaks their word, or may not mean what they say.
It is looked down upon to get romantically involved with your godbrothers and sisters, even viewed as incestual. This is not a dating service, and not your focus at ritual. Sometimes partners such as myself and my husband will join a spiritual house together. That is not the same thing.
There are going to be interpersonal dynamics in every group. Adding dating just makes things more messy and not cohesive as a family. It is understandable that you would want someone who understand you spiritually, but to a certain extent we walk the path alone. Our paths are not the same.
Remember there are enemies of spiritualism and spiritual enemies who through their hatred seek to break up families, and spiritual groups, both incarnate and disincarnate.
I read one blog discussing polygamy in Africa, how it is traditional for the priests in Ifa, as priest kings had multiple wives, and many still do. It is traditional as well through the myomberos in the Congo. The thing is that you must be able to support them all, including any children, and in our society in America, does not work so well. Things may or may not work out so well in the situation in polygamy either, as it is mostly what causes witchcraft in the authors opinion and what she has seen, the wives and children on each other, due to power imbalances, jealousy, and people not keeping their duty. The wives throw witchcraft back and forth, at times the husband takes the penalty.
Well, the wives agreed to a multiple marriage, no judgements of the lifestyle or what personal situations might have happened. When you look at old fashioned spellwork a lot of the requests and work is based on love magic. Heartbreak, unfaithful partners, and threats to ones family and lifestyle, fairly or unfairly gets the emotions heated overruling the head.
As spiritual people we have to be careful of our actions, which affect our progress and development. We also all have our lines that cannot be crossed, and deserve to protect ourselves.
I remember in the days of my initiation, I went to the discount store with my godbrother and sister for drinks and supplies, wearing my whites quickly dried in the Florida heat from river water and sand. I was wearing no makeup with my bobcut hair. A man came up to me gushing and said, "you are the most beautiful woman, I have ever seen!". I just blushed and stammered, thanks.
I told this to my Yaya, I certaintly had felt glowing with white and very beautiful, despite my appearance. She said " he sees the saint, your spiritual light".
Another Santero had said something similar in advice to priest/esses, "people are attracted to your Orisha". It might be a good thing like with business contacts, but to treat others fairly, and it might have nothing to do with you personally.
One of my spiritual teachers said, as we gain light and become like the sun, it is moths to the flame, or as orbit as the planets around the sun like our solar system, to acknowledge this, and use this egoic power wisely. Watch for cults of personality, and those relationship with power. Today's social media makes things even worse.
Why is it human nature to always seek the divine externally, but not not recognize its potential internally?
At the same time as priests we need to realize where our power comes from, and not to abuse it.
As a couple my Tata gave us advice as newly made priests. To my husband Palo is very machismo, and gets your head hot, to be careful with getting heated, and that women will chase after Tatas, Babalwos and Santeros. I can help him with baths and cleansing and coolness of espiritismo. The spirits have interest in our marriage contract and the spirits interested in me will bless him with financial prosperity.
For women it may be the same thing. I saw one attractive Mambo post on her page: I am not interested in dating proposals I use this page for networking.
Well this post may not stop any foolishness, but it is good advice to the newly crowned priest, and for noninitiates to understand.
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